Planning for Postpartum
What do I need to prepare for postpartum?
I often find many of my clients are reading books and listening to podcasts to help prepare them for labor, but not many think to plan or prepare for postpartum. Before I became a doula or had my daughter, I loved listening to The Birth Hour podcast and was blown away by hearing postpartum stories. I was shocked I’d never heard anyone talk about the healing or the physical and emotional demands of early parenting, let alone the experience of matrescence. We know having support in the postpartum period is a protective factor against postpartum mood disorder (PPMD); having a plan for this time can be just that.
Here are six things to consider when planning for postpartum:
Emotional Support
Both parents are taking on a new role and a new identity with the birth of a baby. If you can think back to being a preteen/teenager, you were learning who you were in your broader community and how you wanted to navigate the world as an individual with your own belief system. Parenthood is another coming-of-age experience. You are living out your values as you parent your child and eventually teach your child how we engage with others and the world around us. This new role – and loss of your former life – is a challenge, albeit a beautiful one.
To help you adjust to your new role as a parent, choose two support people that you can reach out to when you need help navigating your new identity. Ideally, one of the designated support people would be someone professionally trained in counseling, like a licensed therapist, LCSW, LMFT, etc. According to a review done by the USPSTF, cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy have been shown to help reduce occurrences of perinatal depression.
Physical Healing
Creating and sustaining a whole human is no easy feat. After giving birth, your pelvic floor needs support as your organs reposition themselves and your uterus shrinks back to its pre-pregnancy size. To aid in this recovery, adhere to the midwifery 5-5-5 rule.
This looks like:
Five days in bed: to gradually increase the load on the pelvic floor, you spent the first five days reclined or lying in bed
Five days on the bed: the next five days, you can begin to increase the weight on the pelvic floor and begin spending time sitting up
Five days around the bed: the final five days allow for you to stand, but you should that time brief
This 5-5-5 rule allows you time to rest and recover and to focus on bonding with your baby.
Meal Planning
Given what you now know about your physical recovery, it’s helpful to plan ahead for how you will feed yourselves while you are spending most of your time off your feet. Even if the non-gestational parent is the cook in the home, it’s important to plan ahead so that everyone is getting rest and bonding time with baby.
Some families are fortunate enough to have a village of friends and family nearby. If that’s you, then a meal train can be an excellent option. If that’s not possible for you or your loved ones aren’t great at cooking, you might instead consider freezing meals before the baby arrives. There’s also the option of a meal delivery service. Plan for most of the support to come in those first two weeks, with a gradual tapering off as you get further into postpartum.
Helpers/Visitors
There’s a difference between a helper and a visitor. Not everyone is both.
A helper helps the parents. They will cook meals or warm up food for you. They will change out and fold laundry. They will wash dishes or empty the dishwasher. A helper is going to do all the things your parents did for you when you were a small child. They are not there to hold the baby. They are there to hold the parents. They parent the new parents. If you want them to hold the baby so you can get more sleep or take a shower, they are happy to do so, but it’s to support you, not to meet their own desire of wanting to be with the baby. Accept this help. To identify who is a helper, you can ask yourselves:
Are they someone I would want around when I’m sick?
Does the house need to be orderly for me to feel okay with them coming over?
Do I want myself to look a certain way when they arrive?
Do I feel comfortable with them seeing me in an emotional state?
A visitor comes to see the baby and provide social interaction. Most often, though not always, this is not what people want for the first two weeks postpartum. Given the physical healing you’ll be going through, you may want to set the expectation that you’ll hold off on visitors for the first two weeks.
Newborn Care
Understanding child development allows parents to feel better prepared for challenges that arise in the parenting journey. When new parents know what to expect during their baby's first 12 weeks, it can help them feel more at ease.
Take a newborn care class to learn how to babywear, soothe your baby, change a diaper, and give a proper bath. Develop an understanding of what is biologically normal with regard to infant sleep. A postpartum doula can also help with newborn care tasks in the postpartum period and provide education along the way.
Infant Feeding
If you intend to feed your baby human milk, you should take a class. Although breast/chest feeding is the biological norm for babies, it is a new skill for both the baby and the parent. There is often a steep learning curve, and it takes some practice. If you can’t take a class, I recommend reading Breastfeeding Made Simple. It’s also wise to have the contract information of an IBCLC before the baby arrives so that you know who to call should you need support. You can also meet with an IBCLC prenatally to review your health history and learn the basics of lactation, like position, latch, how to know baby is getting enough, protecting your supply, and more.
If you would like help with postpartum planning before your baby arrives or lactation support once they’re born, call Rose Moon Birth Services or request an appointment online today.
